


System Lord of Time

by misaffection (orphan_account)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-31
Updated: 2011-05-31
Packaged: 2017-10-19 23:02:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/misaffection
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baal fits into life on Earth by becoming a fanboy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	System Lord of Time

Baal looked at the spread of magazines. He hadn’t expected it to be quite this complicated. Raising his gaze to where Mayfield sat, lips twisted in an amused smirk at his predicament, he sighed.

“Is this completely necessary?” he asked her.

“Absolutely.” She grinned, then tilted her head and gave him an appraising look. “Navy blue, I think. Or a very dark grey.”

“There is an extensive choice of both,” he replied, glancing at the various photographs. “Is there not an easier way of doing this?”

Mayfield hopped off the barstool and picked up her laptop. “Here, my Lord, let me introduce you to something called ‘the internet’.”

 

A few hours and several hundred American dollars later, Baal sat back in his chair, feeling quite accomplished. Now all he had to do was wait for the delivery service. As he did that, he browsed the internet some more. Some things made his eyebrows rise to his hairline, others make him smirk. Then there were some very interesting things indeed…

“‘Time Lord’?” he murmured to himself. “Now that would be a very fine thing indeed.”

 

Enough American dollars acquired the service of something referred to as “same day delivery”. This required his signature. He frowned at the deliverer – a bright-eyes girl with her blonde hair in pigtails and an annoying habit of chewing gum – then scrawled across the dotted line.

‘John Smith’.

The girl popped her gum and grinned at him. Her gaze ran up and down with the sort of impudence that would normally have gotten her shot. However that was apparently frowned upon by law enforcement. He gave her a weak smile. But he dropped the sequence of numbers she handed to him in the trash can the second the door was closed.

 

The suit was dark blue as Mayfield had suggested. Baal admired his reflection and decided she might have known what she was talking about after all. Choosing a pinstripe had been his own addition; he’d not been able to resist the thin gold woven through the fabric. He matched it with a gold necktie that took him several attempts to get right.

Mayfield walked into his bedroom without knocking just as he tried on the long coat. She arched an eyebrow.

“Interesting,” she said.

Baal turned on the spot. The tails of the coat flared out dramatically. He grinned at her in the mirror.

“I thought so,” he said and then picked up the last part of his outfit. “Anything else?”

“Love the scarf.” Her tone was all sarcasm. “Wherever did you find that?”

“Somewhere called ‘eBay’. It seems quite common for humans to become fixated on television programs and wear appropriate signs of this.”

“I’m not sure that is appropriate to anything,” Mayfield said, eyes on the scarf.

Baal shrugged and tossed on multi-coloured end over his shoulder. “I wear a scarf now,” he said, remembering a phrase he’d learnt from the streamed internet programming. “Scarves are the epitome of admired aesthetic.”

“I believe the phrase is ‘cool’.”

“Whatever. “ He stared at his reflection, then his eyes fogged dreamily. “Do you think it is possible to acquire a time machine cunningly disguised as an antiquated police box?”

Mayfield sighed. “No, my Lord, I don’t believe it is. Not a working model, at any rate.”

“Ah well.” A shame, he rather wanted one. However… He brightened. “Perhaps I could create my own. After the Ori are defeated, I shall further investigate the possibility. To be a lord of time… Wouldn’t that be something? I could rule the entire galaxy.”

“Indeed you could, my Lord.”

Baal was too busy making mental plans to notice Mayfield’s condescending tone. If he could travel in time, if he could rewrite it, then he would be able to claim control of the System Lords. Even better, he would never have to worry about being thwarted by SG1 again.

“System Lord of Time” had quite the ring to it.


End file.
